It seems ridiculous to think we can lose ourselves, doesn’t it? But the truth is we all do. We lose who we think we are and have to start all over again. No one tells us this is going to happen. And we have no idea what to do when it does. I didn’t know where to begin looking to find “The Hulk” that would open up and talk and express how I was feeling. But I couldn’t. It wasn’t that simple.
There’s still stigma around depression when you are the one who has it. Empathy for everyone else but not me. Suck it up. Get on with it. Don’t be such a baby. I’m all too familiar with these words. The people that teach us these words are trying to protect us from a world that can be hard. They are teaching us what they have been taught. But these words don’t protect us. In the end we end up hurting ourselves, and others, with them. We have to be careful with how they are directed. If we don’t know that and it’s the only way we know how to be, it’s hard to figure out something different. Depression was a huge teacher to me. I found the that the usual rules don’t apply, and there are no easy answers. I had to be humble enough to start over, to un-learn a whole bunch of stuff and to find a new way. I don’t have all the answers but I have lived through it and I can share my experience with it. What I learnt is that you are not going to feel happy all the time. And that is okay. Grief and pain can be some of our greatest teachers, if we allow them to be. You are not always going to feel welcoming towards them and that is okay too. We are not used to them so if their presence becomes too much, seek help. Most of the time, asking for help is a big (and really important) part of surrender. Stay true to you and keep on your hustle All Day Every Day.
Soa “The Hulk”